You Look Like You’re Having A Baby!

‘Baba, it looks as if you are going to have a baby.’

The trouble with kids is they are so blinking honest. I suppose that’s why the Bible says, ‘Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings’. Psalms 8:2

 I knew that with 7 weeks to go until my big Homecoming concert at the Swansea Building Society Arena that I needed to get in shape.  Firstly I needed to make sure that I started rehearsing nice and early.

The older songs seem to be locked in.  I just need to start playing and without thinking the words come out. It’s like a muscle memory. It’s the same with the rest of the band.  Mal Pope & The Jacks played all over the country, 2-3 times a week, for the best part of 5 years. 25 years later and even now when Ryan the drummer counts in ‘Keep On Running’ we all go into autopilot mode and can play an hour and 45 mins without thinking or stopping!!!

Mal Pope & The Jacks – Children In Need

As this is a new show some of the songs I have chosen I haven’t performed for quite some time.  Others are new songs which we’ve never played in front of an audience.  Firstly I need to play them to make sure I can get them right, then I need to keep practising until I can’t get them wrong.

So making sure I know the material is important.  The next job is making sure I’m prepared physically.  Looking at my hands you would see that its pretty clear I’ve never done a days work in my life.  The only working scars I ever have are on the tips of my left hand.  These are the fingertips that press on the strings to create the chords when I play guitar. When you have regular gigs or when you’re recording a lot in the studio the tips of your fingers stay hardened.  If you take a few weeks off and don’t play regularly then, and I don’t want to sound too yucky here but, the top layer of skin starts peeling and you have to start all over again.

There’s an old saying you can’t fatten a pig on market day, and I’ve learnt from experience that to be true when it comes to sore finger tips.  In the past I have been caught out with a last minute gig and the intense rehearsals to get up to speed have left my fingertips in bits. 

Talk to any old guitarist and they all have different ideas to get you through.  Some people suggest covering the tips of your fingers in super glue.  I should warn if you try that method make sure the superglue dries before you start playing otherwise you might not get your fingers off the strings at all!!!

Others suggest moisturising using lanolin or in some cases ear wax.  That’s a bit gross isn’t it?  In an emergency I have tried nail varnish and it does offer some protection but its not the same as weeks of practise every day.

I’ve also realised that I need to play the piano. I love doodling on the keyboard but it’s not the same as rehearsing for a concert.   It’s only when I stop to look at the set list that I realise that for some of the songs I might only have ever played the piano parts half a dozen times.  That was when we were in the studio recording the song and that could have been months ago.  I probably need to apologise to the neighbours if they hear some of my songs as if being playing by Les Dawson. I am playing all of the right notes but as Eric Morecambe once said, not necessarily in the right order. As I said, first practise until I get it right, then practise until I can’t get it wrong!!!

So I have a plan for the music songs and playing of instruments.  Next comes my body!!!

Now I should say that back in April I had what is often described by people from Swansea as a bit of a pull, my back went.  It came about rather suddenly but I can’t actually remember doing anything in particular to cause the problem.  The problem arose after a particular busy time in the studio.  When you are in the middle of a project hours pass without you noticing.  You also find yourself crouched over a keyboard and actually forget to make sure you stand up every so often to make sure you don’t freeze in that position.

I think that’s what happened to me so much so that on the final game of the Swansea City season I had to be dragged off the bed lying on a towel and someone else had to put my socks on.  I was driven to the stadium and managed to just about squeeze out of the car without swearing too loudly. Fair play to the security staff they carried my bags for me, took me up in the lift and even got a chair for me to sit on to carry out my welcoming duties.

A friend of mine is a bit of an expert on these matters and he said not to worry. He suggested rest, some mild exercises and also said to try to keep moving. It should all be better in 10-12 weeks. By week 14 I was starting to panic, in fact I was thinking if it didn’t start to get better maybe I would have to cancel the Arena Show.

A thousand tickets to sell and  stone to lose!!

Almost everyone at one stage or another in their lives has a bad back and it really is debilitating because it affects everything you do, every movement you try to make.  It wasn’t just that I might not be able to stand on the stage for 2 hours on the night, it was all of the jobs I needed to do beforehand that needed me to be in a good state of mind and I really wasn’t.

After a visit to the Physio department in Singleton hospital and a few weeks following their suggested exercise routine the pain started to ease and light could at last be seen at the end of the tunnel…but there was collateral damage!!

I’ve always been pretty fit, and I’ve tried to keep active.  The knees ache a little these days, so I don’t run as much as I did but I have been a regular walker, I mean 5-6 kms every day.  That has just about kept my waistline in check, but 14-16 weeks of very little exercise and I didn’t like what I was seeing in the bathroom mirror.  I knew I should do something about it, but I had a few months before the show.

Then it happened. Most Saturday mornings I take my granddaughter out for breakfast.  At 6 years of age she has a unique take on life and our conversations move from extinct dinosaurs to Pokémon cards. She’s had a pretty good morning fleecing her grandfather and we were on the way home when she turned to me and said, ‘Baba, it looks as if you are going to have a baby.’

I mean that hurt, not the fact she said it but the fact that it was true.  That’s the thing with kids they tell it as they see it.  Her mother was the same.  I remember when she asked an old female relative why was she growing a moustache?????

Anyway, Freedom Leisure who look after all of the council gyms had a special deal on for 3 months membership and I’m trying to go as often as possible to try to get back into some sort of shape.  I just hope the back holds out!!!