Nearing Journey’s End

I feel I am coming to an end of a journey that in truth I would never have wanted to take. On Tuesday morning I joined with a whole host of supporters including members of the Swansea Bay Health Board, business sponsors and grateful families to mark the opening of Cwtsh Clos. 

These 5 two bedroom houses are made available, free of charge to families, with babies in the Neo Natal Unit (NICU) at Singleton Hospital.  Over the years they have been a godsend for those who have found themselves going into a surprise labour whilst on holiday in the area or maybe they live a long way away and have been brought to Singleton for the NICU expertise.  They have been greatly used by many families and of course with so much use they had started to look a little tired and in need of some TLC.

When I say some TLC, I mean £160,000 worth of TLC.  One of the parents who was there last Tuesday told me they would have taken a tent in the car park next to the hospital to be near their child who was being cared for at Singleton.  They lived over an hour away from the hospital which would have meant long hours on the roads trying to get back and for to spend time at their child’s bedside. At the time they were delighted to have access to one of the houses but even they said that as they left they felt it might be time for a lick of paint here and there.  As they walked into one of the completed houses their smiles lit up Cwtsh Clos

Now in truth the 5 two bedroom houses in Cwtsh Clos have been used throughout the many months of refurbishment. The work of the NICU goes on day in day out throughout the year.  The project has taken massive amounts of time to raise the funds, plan the work whilst also allowing parents to still use the facilities when needed.

So why do I say I am I coming to the end of my journey? 

I have to tell you this has been a very hard and painful role I have been given.  My family’s story started back in September 2023.  It was a beautiful September morning as I drove to the Swansea dot com stadium for a home match against Bristol City.  On the way I got a call telling me my pregnant daughter was feeling a little unwell.  Now I’ve been through this a few times, 4 kids of my own and 3 grandchildren.  It’s never plain sailing but everything always works out in the end…except in this case it didn’t.

Gulliver was born a few days later at 21 weeks.  With full term being 40 weeks we all knew this was very serious. Gulliver was taken into the NICU and his mother was given a space in the hospital to be by his side. At times like this you go into survival mode arranging a make shift rota to support my daughter but also to take care of the other children. As we and Gulliver’s immediate family lived within 5 minutes of the hospital popping home for a shower or a little respite was relatively easy.  It was only sometime later that I was made aware of the issues for people who found themselves in the same situation as us but also being a long way from home.

Mal with his grandson Gulliver.

That week we watched our little boy fight for life in an incubator surrounded by doctors and nurses from all over the world who were trying their best to give him every chance seemed like blur.  We would wake up hoping for good news on the family WhatsApp group.  Some days there was good news, other days the news wasn’t good. I wanted to try to do everything I could to try to fix things.  I text and emailed and even went on social media asking people to say a little prayer for Gulliver and the response was wonderful and overwhelming, but the truth was Gulliver was just born too early to survive.

As well as the love and compassion we received from the NICU unit staff, what we all valued was their honesty.  It was a Friday evening when we all gathered as family to say our goodbyes.  We each took it in turns to hold Gulliver and we laughed and cried in equal measure.

Waking up the following morning to the news Gulliver had left us was expected but no less devastating.  Of course there are all of the official duties required at such a time including planning the funeral.  We were all there including the children and of course after the service we all went to Joe’s for Ice Cream.

As I left the NICU unit for the last time I remember saying to the staff if there was ever anything I could do to help, to say thank you, all they had to do was ask. At the time close friends knew of our sadness but with a world already full of sorrow I hadn’t planned to share our story.  Then came the call…

It wasn’t long before I had learnt about Cwtsh Clos, the support these houses give to families like mine at a time of great need, the plans for refurbishment and the target of £160,000.  And so began my journey with Cwtsh Clos.  It started with an essay just like this that was in the paper and shared online.  The Saturday morning it was published I was back again at the Swansea dot com.  People were just so kind and understanding.  Many shared their own stories of loss.

Writing about our family’s story is tough but doable.  It was only when I started telling the story to small groups or cameras that it really started to hurt.  I have made my career out of talking to people and telling my story, but this was different.  The thing is I never knew when it was going to hit me.  Somewhere along the line I would struggle and start to cry.  In recent months I have made my excuses at the start of my talk.  ‘Don’t worry I tell people, the more tears I shed, the more money we make for Cwtsh Clos’.

This week marked the start of the end of my journey.  I had the pleasure of cutting the ribbon to officially open Ty Gulliver, Gulliver’s House.  I knew we would reach our target when some big sponsors came on board, no more so than Swansea City AFC. I remember getting a call out of the blue telling me the club were considering taking on Cwtsh Clos as their charity of the year.  It was the club who suggested naming the house after my little grandson.

We couldn’t actually get to look around Gulliver’s House because it was being used which in many ways made me even more happy. The second house is named Ty Dylan after the Principality’s dragon mascot to mark the support given by the Building Society and their staff.   But there are 3 more houses left to name and £16,000 still to raise.

We have decided to use my Homecoming Concert at the Swansea Arena on the 8^th October to hopefully get us over the line. A fundraiser yes, but also a celebration of community and what makes my city so special; hopefully on that night I will be able to complete the task that was set for me all those months ago.