It’s probably an age thing but these days I find myself being very reflective about life as I try to work out what its all about. It can hit me at the strangest times. It’s nearly 3 weeks since my Golden Jubilee concert at Swansea Arena. As you can imagine it took over a year to plan so when it actually came to walking on stage it had a dream like quality. I had imagined the set, the guest line up and the lights for such a long time that the concert itself felt like a 2 hour ‘déjà vu’ experience.
There were a few moments that I just had to stop for a moment and try to take it all in.
After my duet with Andy Fairweather Low I found myself saying that I consider myself incredibly blessed to have had so many of these ‘pinch myself’ moments. After singing ‘Cappuccino Girls’ with Ria Jones I looked at the crowd and said out loud what I was thinking internally, ‘I’m not sure how I’m going to get up tomorrow and live a ‘normal’ life.’
The climax of the show was a song called ‘Warm Wind’. The song was written for my musical about the Welsh Revival and we recorded a special version in 2019 to celebrate Swansea’s 50th Anniversary of becoming a city.
The original recording had featured choirs from all around the world including Atlanta, and Mizoram in India. I had also recorded some local choirs including the DVLA Ladies Choir, The Swansea Bay Singers and the Morriston Orpheus. On the night of my concert members from these choirs were strategically placed amongst the audience and when the song started they left their seats to perform a flash mob in the Arena. As I looked out, heard them singing and saw the reaction of the audience, tears of joy streamed down my face.
It was a brilliant evening, one I will never forget, but it had the air of finality about it. It felt like I had come to the end of a particular season and since then it’s made me think about what’s next.
Having just gone through all of those emotions this weekend has got me ‘reflecting’ in buckets on all sorts of subjects.
Yesterday marked the 20th anniversary of the passing of legendary Radio 1 DJ John Peel. His friend and colleague, writer and broadcaster Paul Gambaccini described Peel as ‘The most important single person in popular music from approximately 1967 through 1978’. I always say I owe John Peel my career in music and broadcasting. He took the trouble to listen to a tape of songs I sent him in 1973, invited me onto his show and even gave the tapes to Elton John with a view to getting me a record deal.
Over the years I have often told that story and initially for those hearing the story for the first time it would often provoke a deep intake of breath. John Peel!!! He had such an aura around him, and people had grown up with this voice. His ability to spot talent and give it an airing on his radio show had launched literally hundreds of musical careers.
As time has passed I have noticed that mentioning John’s name has less impact. I often find myself having to explain who he was and how Radio 1 worked in those days. The rest of my story includes Elton John and Fireman Sam and they still ring a bell for most people, but the fact is time has moved on and the John Peel season is slowly fading away.
Another reason I have found myself deep in thought about love, life and everything is this weekend… the clocks go back. The good news is an extra hour in bed, the bad news its going to get dark earlier and it won’t get light again for about 6 months. We have known the change was coming, all you have to do is read the signs all around us, trees losing their leaves and mince pies in the shops.
Every day I try my best to walk for an hour along Swansea Bay. There are a number of reasons. Firstly, the exercise is good for my health. Secondly it’s a time to walk and think away from all of the noisy distractions of modern life, and thirdly seeing the bay and the sky and the trees and hearing the waves and gulls crying is good for my soul.
So what have I been thinking about?
Becoming a grandparent has been one of my biggest life events. Ask any Nana and Bampy and I’m sure they will say the same. It’s hard to explain exactly what’s so different compared to having your own children. I often say If I had known Grandkids were so much fun I’d have had them first!!!
Since my big arena concert I’ve been trying to make up for lost time and do more Grandfather things. It’s great when they all call around together and there’s a madness that ensues which is overwhelmingly beautiful but I’m also trying to have some individual one of one time.
I’ve been trying to have a regular breakfast with my eldest granddaughter. She’s 5 and I’m told by her parents she actually looks forward to our meetings although we all know she takes every opportunity to ‘rinse’ me of any cash I have above and beyond breakfast. What I love about our chats is her life is so exciting and just makes sense. We talk about friends and share stories about tigers. It’s all Halloween costumes and spooky cakes at Greggs and all of the chats meld into one long conversation.
Her little brother likes Joe’s Ice Cream…well who doesn’t. For a few weeks I was able to organise a weekly trip for vanilla with a chocolate flake but since his third birthday he has morning school which means his diary is much more full and his little body much more tired than it used to be. That is a new season for him even if he doesn’t really know it yet.
On Thursday evening I went to the circus with grandchild no 3. He’s only a few weeks younger than his cousin and will soon join him in the same class at nursery. It’s been some time since I last went to the circus, I thought that season was over for me, but it looks as if some seasons have a habit of returning.
I think I spent as much time watching his reaction to the jugglers and acrobats as I did to the show itself. We lasted until the half time interval and then left to buy fish and chips from Dick Barton’s on the way home. I mean fair play; he is only 2…
Now the circus is very different to the circus visits I remember from my childhood and from my kid’s childhood. No lions, tigers or bears, a good thing I must add but a strong memory all the same. In fact when I reminded my daughter that I think the last time we had visited a circus together at Swansea Rec I had treated her brother and sister to a ride on a baby elephant she almost choked on her popcorn!!!
What does it all mean? If I’m honest I’m not really sure. I once wrote a song called ‘I Wish I was a Tree’. The thought being that a tree doesn’t ask what type of a tree am I it does its best growing straight growing tall.
The seasons will hopefully continue to change, and I expect I’ll still find my head full of questions and fears and doubts and worries but maybe this change of season I’ll take a lesson from my grandchildren. Maybe this time I’ll just enjoy the candy floss at the circus, the ice cream at Joes and the spooky cakes at Greggs.
Ooooffff!
My 1st reaction to reading your words was “I’m speechless”
(I had the most amazing ice cream with my grandaughter (6) after picking her up from school last week)
I concur with all you’ve said.
I recommend hugging a tree…..
You’ve done amazing things & it is enough..
You are enough Mal Pope/Fantastic.
I once said this to a stray cat I’d taken in..”you are loved” and she sighed….
You are loved Mal…….
Wishing you happy times ahead…….
Deep breaths, enjoy those walks…I’m missing West Wales very much these days…….but it ain’t over ….yet! X
Embrace ALL you HAVE XX